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Tuesday, December 29, 2015

Top English Jokes

Classroom Jokes
It was oral examination in the standard two. The class teacher asked various questions to the students. She asked Tom, ‘Can you tell me a name of an animal that starts with alphabet ‘E’?
Tom replied ‘ELEPHANT’
Teacher asked him again to name an animal that starts with alphabet ‘T’. 
Tom replied ‘Two Elephants’
Teacher asked him the same question. 
Tom replied ‘Ten Elephants’
Annoyed teacher, asked him name an animal that starts with alphabet ‘M’
Tom replied ‘Mother Elephant’
The angry teacher repeated the same question. 
Cool Tom replied ‘May be an elephant’

Teacher asked the students to tell the most common word used by students in a classroom.
Suddenly a student got up and said “Can’t Sir”!
Brilliant! You are right, the teacher said!

Johnny asked to Sam what they will do that night.
Sam said “we will flip a coin”
Then Johnny said “If it comes head, we will go for movies. If tails, we will play cards, if it stands on edge, we will study”!

Teacher asked the students to tell the importance of the year 1809.
John stand up and said “Abraham Lincoln was born”
Then teacher again asked the students to tell the importance of another year 1819
Then Sam suddenly stand up and said “Abraham Lincoln was ten years old”!

Teacher: Which one is closer, Sun or Africa? 
Johnny: Sun 
Teacher: Why? 
Johnny: We can see the sun all the time, but can’t see Africa.


Teacher said the students to convert the sentence "I killed a person" into future tense.
Suddenly Johnny stands up and said, Sir the future tense is "u will go to jail"!

One day teacher asked Sam that did his father help him with his homework.
Sam simply said that “No, he did it all by himself”!

Little Sam (on phone): My son is having high fever and he won’t be able to come to school today.
Teacher: Who is this?
Little Sam: This is my father speaking!

Son: I am not able to go to school today.
Father: what happened?
Son: I am not feeling well
Father: Where you are not feeling well?
Son: In school!

Teacher announced that “students, we will have only half a day of school in this morning.
All the students said “Yeahh”
Then the teacher said “We will have the other half this afternoon”!

Teacher: Why are you late?
Student: Because of the sign on the road.
Teacher: What type of sign?
Student: The sign that says, “School Ahead, Go Slow.”!

Sam: Dear sir, I want to ask you something. 
Teacher: yes Sam, ask me, what do you want? 
Sam: Sir, do you punish anyone for something they did not do? 
Teacher: No Sam. Why should I?
Sam: Thank you sir. That’s a relief. I haven’t done the homework. 

Math Teacher: Sara, what do you get when you subtract 897 from 1824 and add 176 and divide the answer by 3?
Sara: A Headache Madam.

Teacher to student: “Make a sentence using the word “I”
Student: “I is..”
Teacher: “No that is not correct, you should say I am”
Student: “Ok. I am the ninth letter in the Alphabet”!
- See more at: http://www.kidsworldfun.com/jokes/classroom-jokes.php#sthash.YXxD8dpS.dpuf

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